This is a true story, based on real events and people, told exactly as it went down…
The Uber driver arrived as I was just finishing the final touches on my Uppit.io presentation. As per usual, I hopped into the back seat, nodded a quick hello and refocussed my attention on my phone. Creating a bias-free app for ideation keeps me, like, Very Busy.
I was quite comfortable in my busyness, tapping away on my phone, when the Uber driver started talking to me. On a regular day, this is pretty rude — can’t he see I am busy tapping things into my phone? — but given the current climate, I was especially appalled. I could literally picture little colourful COVID-19 viruses swimming around in the confined airspace that I was sharing with this stranger.
“How are you” said my driver, his breath changing the current of the COVID-19 swimmers.
“Good thanks” I replied, noting as I always do, how this is the only acceptable answer in Australia. In some countries, it is considered quite showy to reply in this manner, with a more standard response being a rundown of your top 3 ailments.
Feeling a pang of guilt, I added “How are you holding up in these strange times?”
Subplot One: They are coming to vaccinate you 💉
“These times are strange indeed. My wife has just started to trust me. I have been telling her for a long tome now that these times were coming. I just did not know the timing. But now that the times are here, my wife is trusting me again.”
I stopped tapping on my phone.
“Tell me more I said” in my most non-judgemental, you-are-in-a-safe-place-surrounded-by-friends voice.
Sensing a captive audience, my driver relaxed into a full account. He was never sure of the timing, but what he has always known, what anyone is able to know if they read the true materials on the dark interweb, is that They have been plotting this for a long time. They released the pandemic in order to test the world’s ability to respond to…